Sunday, July 28, 2013

go, Go, GO, STOP!

Otherwise titled as 'One of the most stressfilled, fun weeks of Hannah's year.'

A little bit of the update on my school experience.

*Disclaimer (the best blog posts all have them* I don't want you to view this as a general homeschooling flaw, I would like to think that I am a very special case.

Last week I had a lovely chat with one of the ladies at Ongoing Education at Okanagan College in Kelowna.
She explained pretty much everything for me, and got everything sorted.
Things that needed to be sorted were arranging tests in order to get all my prerequisites ready for my application.

So, to go along with my disclaimer, I'm not used to tests. I am not one of those homeschoolers that had tests all along the journey of my schooling, and I did not have to do any provincial exams. Couple that with my off and on OCD, and perfectionism, and you have a Hannah who is a bundle of stressful nerves.

One thing about not having tests growing up, I don't really have a proper way of dealing and preparing for them yet. Which basically means, although I got my prereading book for the CPR course mid last week, I didn't actually start reading it until Monday, and cramming on Wednesday. (The course being the next day, Thursday.)

My compulsive list-making skills did come in handy this week though.

I will admit my stress got so bad on Wednesday afternoon, that at a point I was pretty sure I would have a panic attack. There was nausea, stomach pain, headaches, sweating, and being on the verge of tears.
I would like to say a special thanks to my lovely sweeper team for dealing with me. Looking back now, I know I was just being plain silly.

On top of all of that, the course and test were not even in Kamloops, so I made the two hour drive to Kelowna. I guess it's a little fitting, since that is where I will be going to school.
Thursday I had the CPR course, and it was actually so easy. All the stress and nerves of before, went away when I learned everything, and had the confidence I needed to pass the written exam (passed with 100%, I might add).

The next day, I went to the college and did a typing test, the goal was to be able to type 35 words per minute. It was almost as easy as the test the day before had been.
And with that, I had confirmation that I could be expecting an acceptance letter in the next week.

I do admit I make things out to be so much of a bigger deal than they need to be, but it's almost as if the added stress makes for a bigger celebration in the end. So, almost worth it :D.

Then after the days of stress, I headed into two days at the lake, doing nothing but napping, reading, and soaking up the sun.
I did not feel guilty for the lack of production at all. Lack of production? What am I talking about. I managed to finish two books in that time. So productive.

One more thing I would like to mention on the school subject.

Hannah is not a fan of change. She gets comfortable with the day to day normal, and the idea of totally disrupting that freaks her out. Especially when it becomes so real.
As much as she loved the idea of applying for college and moving to a new city before, now it is just a new cause for worry and stress.

The idea of quitting my job, that I have grown to love and get so much joy out of, is a big reason that I thinking that I don't even want to make this big step. And every day it is a struggle that I'm dealing with.
I found a quote on Pinterest last week, that I have been thinking about constantly, and it is helping me deal with everything.

"What if I told you that 10 years from now, your life would be exactly the same?
I doubt you would be happy.
So, why are you so afraid of change?"
Karen Salmansohn

I don't want to be where I am in 10 years. Heck, I don't want to be where I am in 2 or 3 years. And without making the difficult steps now, I won't be able to make that happen.
So, here is to beginning a new phase of my life, as hard as it might seem in the moment.


Friday, July 5, 2013

This is cheating.

I had to do a brief update for all of my friends from Bible school, and so I'm doing the cheaters thing, and copying and pasting it here.

And to think I used to laugh at all the people who said they got "bloggers block".
It's a real thing, and you should be frightened of getting it yourself.
I cannot even count the amount of times I have forced myself to press the 'new post' button, and then stared at the screen forever, trying to formulate a way of writing down my thoughts in a unique and witty way, that would make everyone want to smile and be my friend.

And in actuality, when I have managed to scrape something together enough to hit 'publish', it is always some odds-n-ends thing that I put together on the spot, so that I could try and convince myself that I still have it together. I don't. But I'm also not going to throw away 6 years of my life, just because of a dry spell. I have faith that the writers itch will come back. Maybe not in time to keep all of my readers here, but since when has this been more than a public journal for me anyway?

Here is my short update. Obviously there isn't much to it, and there are probably still a lot of holes in between that would be nicer if filled. But if I have learned anything from my Europe and Australia adventures, it is when I promise a report on something, that it never happens.
So. That's that.

"As all of you know, I went to AUSTRALIA! in March. And that was so much fun. It was my first solo trip, so that in itself was an experience. Elyse's wedding was obviously the highlight. And it was lovely to see her, if only for a short, busy day. 
For the rest of the trip, it was just me, checking out the cities of Melbourne and Sydney. Not only did I see all the animals native to Australia, but I went to the Melbourne Aquarium one day and saw penguins. And that made my life. You don't even want to know how long I stood there and watched them. Taking wayy too many pictures, I might add.
During that trip I realized that the whole solo thing was probably not the best idea for me. I don't regret it, but I tend to be a introvert, so didn't really go out of my way to strike up conversations and all that. I'm also a little paranoid, so most nights found me in my hostel room by 9pm, because I was afraid of what dangers the night might hold :).

After that trip, I was already planning my next one. Which, until recently, was set to happen in January, and the plan was to be a nanny in England for a year or so.
That plan, which up until two days ago was pretty much confirmed, now is looking like it might be postponed, because I just applied to college tonight. Weird. This coming from a girl who has never ever ever wanted to back to school. Ever. (T-swift reference, anybody?)

Nothing to exciting. It's called a Dental Office Administrative Assistant Certificate. It's a pretty short course. Which is good, since that's all I can stand. But I'm really happy for the opportunity to get some sort of training under my belt.
So prayer for getting accepted to that would be much appreciated.

In other news of my life, since Vanessa noticed it on my instagram, I moved out!
Only temporarily though.
My brothers roommate went to work at a bible camp for the summer, so they needed someone to fill in for two months. I wanted the chance to see what it was like before plunging straight in, so this is a nice little test of what it's going to be like in the future.
It's only been a week and a half, but so far so good. I have a little work to do in the cooking department, but that will take some time.
I'm already noticing the perks to living at home, so I don't think I'm done with that quite yet."

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