Over the last year, I've been realizing that even though I'm to the "adult" stage of life, where everything is supposed to be sorted out, and I can live in the enjoyment of working, and having fun, and making relationships, and making memories, I still am quite unsatisfied with where I am.
I think growing up, I thought by this time I would be ready to live like this, without always thinking about the next step and where I would like to be after this.
Maybe it's like retirement, you really want it until you have it, but then you wonder to do with all your free time after spending the last 40 years of your life working 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year.
(although, with 30% of my dental office's patients being retired, I can tell you that is only partly true, since most of them are even busier than I am.)
So in this last year, I have felt a restlessness to be better, do better, fine tune my life in areas that I am slacking.
I have decorated my house, starting going to the gym again, and now most recently started a second job to help save money for some of the bigger purchases I want to make in my life.
And my mind is constantly in a mode of trying to figure out what the next thing could be. A new hobby, a plan of action, a new goal for the next year or years.
And this, this reactivating of my blog is part of it. Because renewing old hobbies, is almost the same as making new ones. Sometimes even more difficult. I thought documenting this growing stage of my life could be useful.
If it pans out, great. If it doesn't, at least I tried. Who knows what I might post about. Before and after picures, what I'm working on, what I'm learning.
The song that is stuck in my head.
I heard it said that writing is therapeutic. Going through everything that is in your head and writing it down. Even if it doesn't seem to have a purpose.
Welcome to Hannah 2.0
Monday, February 1, 2016
Everyone should be allowed to have a panic attack.
'Cause sometimes it might help more than it will harm.
'Cause it will make you realize that a change needs to happen.
'Cause it gives you reason to have some comfort food.
And having comfort food when you are four weeks into a wheat free, dairy free diet is a little harder than it might normally be.
So finding this recipe that does the impossible and makes a paleo brownie taste normal, was really a stroke of luck. And almost all the ingredients are ones you would already have in your house, which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of those gluten free recipes out there.
So, I'm not telling you to encourage a panic attack, or invite one to happen. But find the silver lining if it does come along.
at 10:13 PM
Friday, October 31, 2014
Well, what can I say.
I was looking the record of all the posts I've done over the years , and I've beaten last years number of posts just by doing this challenge.
It was funny to see that some days I had something to say, some days I didn't think I had anything to say, but it ended up I do, and then other days, the sheet was blank. Like some of my other hobbies, I'm realizing that you can't have the same likes and dislikes as you grow and change. Sometimes you have to admit something isn't you anymore.
This isn't my good bye post, though. Although that last sentence felt very much like it could be leading somewhere. I'm not one to officially end things. I would like to keep this up for as long as possible, just to have somewhere to occasionally write about life and all there is to it.
This month of writing and taking pictures every day was helpful in training myself to accomplish things. And it wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be.
Unfortunately, I didn't manage to finish Les Mis. But I do have another 2 months to complete it to accomplish my new years resolution, so there's that.
Now I'm off to dinner to celebrate my birthday.
Happy Halloween, Everybody!
at 6:33 PM
Thursday, October 30, 2014
The construction life days.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job. It's up my alley, it's professional, it feels more like a career rather than a "let's do this for 6 months until the next thing starts",
But sometimes, I remember the days of wearing steel toed boots and never feeling quite clean, and I miss it a lot.
I had a bruise on my leg today that I was trying to figure out how I could possibly gotten it. And I laughed, because back in the 'old days', I would have bruises running up and down my body, and I would have no idea where it came from for a whole different reason. That being, I was hurting myself constantly back then, do there would be no way to differentiate what bruise was from what incident.
Sometimes, just sometimes, as I sit in my office, and talk on the phone all day, I remember the days of hammering things, and acting/looking tough, and...
I miss it a lot.
at 11:19 PM
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Let me tell you what I don't do.
I don't take naps after work, and I don't sleep in on work mornings.
I am a super big fan of schedules and lists and planning and regularity.
If I don't do everything exactly how I always do it, I can't do it at all.
The last 24 hours.
I had a nap after work. Definitely not a purposeful nap. I would never think after coming home at 6:00 that that would be a good time to nap. Everybody knows if you sleep at a time like that, you will wake up in the middle of the night. (not me, turns out)
It was a "oh, the room is finally warm and cozy, I feel so good, I'm just going to close my eyes for a moment" kind of thing.
A moment that turned into an hour.
Waking up at 8:05pm, realized there wasn't anything else that seemed more important at that moment than going to bed, so I basically got up to turn the lights out, and went to bed, *there was a small interlude of doing a blog post, and watching a show to calm my brain down again.
And then this morning! You would think that I would be so refreshed and alive, I would wake up to my alarm and bound out of bed with all the energy I had recovered.
Alas, I lay there, and promptly feel back asleep. Only to awake with a start and look at the clock, "7:28! I have to leave at 7:40!"
It was a rushed ten minutes. But I managed.
And I managed to get through the day, despite not having my coffee for the second day in a row.
It's amazing what you can do when you are forced to in a panic.
at 10:51 PM
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