"This week on Fuller Ave."

On Sunday, I moved into my new home.
It's a really cute little place, and so far I haven't noticed anything that will be a problem.
Unless having a ton of neighbours that are friendly poses a problem. I haven't decided yet :).

I have never lived in such close quarters with people. Sure, we all have our different spaces and houses. But I walk out the door, I see people. I open a window, I hear people. It's a different experience for me.
Growing up, I lived on a farm, and even moving "into town", we had a large piece of land with a neighbourly sense of community not being high on the list.

So, I going to try and revive this poor little blog.
And renaming it is the first step. Hopefully I will have something at least once a week to share with you.
Maybe something going on at home, on the street, at the place of work, or everything and anything between there.

Like the silly little story that happened at the library today.

The several times I have been to this library, the fiction section has always been up the stairs, to the right, past the computers.
So that's where I went today. I don't try and kid myself. I read books for one reason. To entertain the shallowest parts of my mind. I pick them up and devour them. It has to be light and happy to catch my attention. That's probably why Les Mis is still hiding in the darkest part of my closet right now.

I walk up the stairs, walk to the right, past the computer lab, and there is no fiction. There is a row or two of books on tape, and some magazines, but nothing more except rows and rows of empty bookcases.
I was perplexed. Are libraries going out of business? This would be a tragedy for me.

But I couldn't admit that I had mistakenly walked to the wrong area, so I pretended to be interested in those books on tape for a while, before wandering over and pretending to be interested the magazines.
Once satisfied that nobody would think I was a silly confused girl, I walked past the stairs to the left side of the floor, thinking that maybe they did a major turn around, and the fiction was now where the non fiction used to be.

Or maybe not...

The non fiction was still non fiction.
But you know me, I had to fake my way through that discovery for about ten minutes.
There are a lot of boring books in that NF side. And yet, there are also some fun books on that side too.
Who knew?
I grabbed one. Something about learning how to declutter your house.
And they have cookbooks over there!
This was a great realization for me.
I think I might just have to visit that scary non fiction side more often.

But, don't worry, I found my non fiction section a little bit later.
It wasn't even up the stairs.
They really threw me for a loop.

Hello, old friend.

You would think that I had forgotten about this blog, since it has been acquired so much dust these past few months.
But that is not the case, I actually do see it every day, at least once a day, when I check to see if there are any new blog posts from people on my side bar list.
How can I be so demanding of other people to have prompt and entertaining things for me to read, when I let my readers go hungry?

Selfish.

But I'll tell you what it is like.
It's like that friend that sends you a message.
And you read it right away.
But...for some reason you don't reply right away.
And the next day comes, and you don't reply then either.
Then it gets forgotten.
Until two months later you remember about it, and it's too late, there is no coming back.
It would just be awkward at this point.

Maybe you have never had an experience like that.
But I'm a terrible communicator, so it happens to me all the time.

Can I tell you about my life?
It has been a mini whirlwind since we last talked.

I 'graduated' from college.
That whole thing was a neat experience. I had never gone to school before, but it was easy to slip into.
Only two classes a week, and barely any studying. I got to know a couple girls really well, and it just felt good to finally have some learning and skills under my belt.

Unfortunately, finding a job after that was next to impossible.
It's one of those annoying chicken/egg scenarios where everyone wants to hire someone with experience, but you can't actually get the experience unless someone hires you.

But I'll be honest, I wasn't trying that hard.
I wasn't in the frame of mind to dress up nice, and go hand my resume's in, and call back a week later.
For the most part I think my mindset was that it would be a lot easier than that. But it wasn't. Well, not at the time at least.

I came home to Kamloops one week for a visit, and I stopped by my old job at the construction site. It must have made me nostalgic, because I started getting all sorts of crazy ideas. Like "why I am I still living in Kelowna, making minimum wage at Sears, struggling to pay rent, when I could be working here, living at home?"
Sometimes I take an idea and run with it.
And that is exactly what I did.
Because it was only about 3 week later that I did just that.
I packed up all my stuff and moved home. And it was good.

It has been a lovely working vacation of working at my old job, living at home, hanging out with friends, meeting my beautiful new niece. But I shouldn't have let myself get so comfortable.

Something crazy kind of happened next.
I got a job offer. In Kelowna.
It plopped into my lap (pretty much).

It was an impossible situation of really not wanting to move away from Kamloops again so soon, but knowing that an amazing opportunity like this wouldn't come around so easily a second time.
So I took it.
And 2 months a 3 days after moving back to Kamloops, I was starting my first day at my new job in Kelowna.
Which pretty much brings us up to real time.
In 3 days I will be moving into my new place.
And I will be settling down.

Because that is the scariest part of all.
Permanency.

I have been a wandering ship for quite some time now.
The idea that I went to school for this and it is my supposed "career", to be carried out for the rest of my days, is a scary realization.
And that is the thing I have the hardest time dealing with so far.
That, and the fact that I have to go back to making my own food. Which means it will be the taquito diet again. Good luck, stomach.

There is a little snippet into my life and mind.
Once I get my camera up and running(a story for another time), I hope to update this page a little better, and give you some nice things to look at.

Bye for now.

This just in.

I am here to tell you that...
There is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

Do you ever float through your days and weeks with nothing really going on, and then all of the sudden *BAM* ten things happen at once. And they are all good things, but you feel unprepared and rushed, and as if you can't enjoy them to their full potential.

This weekend is one of those.

Not only did I have Valentines day, but I had a Birthday party to plan for and host the next day, but I also had a final exam to study and prepare for, plus the actual birthday of my lovely man friend.

The fact that I have made it here, this being the eve of exam day, surprises me. Everything so far has gone off splendidly, and I'm halfway through.
Do I feel very unprepared for my exam? Of course. But I am assured in the knowledge that even if I almost totally tank this test, I will still pass the course. But that doesn't mean I'm not going stop studying for it.

After weeks of nothing going on but several short work shifts in a week, my brain is in an overload. But it's okay, because in a few short days I get to go home! And I couldn't be more excited. I think this is the most excited I've been for a visit home as of yet. The uncertainty of what is next in my life makes me want to curl up on the couch at my parents where Hannah has no responsibilities at all. It's a lovely feeling.

I know I usually save my LOVE lists for Thursdays, but its been awhile, and I have an abundance of things that I'm loving at the moment

1. Old movies.
2.Weddings.
3.Accomplishing that task that has been on the to do list for weeks.
4. Being warm, relaxed, and comfortable.
5. Learning french with friends.
6. Nice old ladies.
7. The food channel.
8. The happiness that has been this weekend.
9. The fact that I will be an auntie in March! (A fact that I don't think about enough).
10.The nice lady at work who took my shift so Matt and I can go to a dinner theatre on Thursday.
11. Being done school tomorrow! Its been a lot of fun. But it will be nice to have my Monday and Wednesday evenings back.

Wish me luck!

The Art of Napping.

I'm a big fan of sleep, which mean that I'm an equally big fan of the nap.

Lazy days.

So, my hours at work got cut drastically back at the beginning of January.
Drastically not being an over exaggeration at all.

10 hours a week?
Sure, that will pay the rent.

But, I tried not to think about it. Assuring myself it would pick up, and that I could use all that free time to do so much!

Hah.

That's how the first two days went.
They were great. I did so much, that I ran out of things.
No joke, the list turned into weird unnecessary things like "iron pillowcases". Who does that?
And so at the end of that second day, there was the switch.
The switch from doing everything possible, to....nothing at all.
And that's pretty much where it has stayed since then.

But here's the funny part.

Back when I wrote my resolutions at the beginning of the year, I promised myself that I would not start another tv show series on Netflix, until I finished that pile of books that was number 3 on the list.

So, I couldn't be lazy and waste the time away procrastinating studying by speeding through a netflix series, so what could I do?

That's where my sneaky mind that likes to find loopholes came in.
I couldn't watch TV SHOWS on Netflix, but I never said I couldn't watch MOVIES on Netflix.

I watched a lot of movies. Like. A lot.

That is why I am now declaring that movies have been added to the no-no list as well.
Which probably means that list of books will be done in the next week. We'll see. I'm sure my loophole mind will come up with something else before too long....

2014 has a certain ring.

I can already feel that this year will be great.
Since last year was also great, I will have to think up some amazing things that will be able to surpass 2013.
I've already got some ideas.

But let's review.

1. Read the unabridged version of Les Miserables.
2. Find somebody that I can kiss at the stroke of 12 next new years.
3. Have a 1 month goal for every month.
4. Achieve something that will make the whole year seem worthwhile



It's a little sad that #1 is only only thing that didn't get accomplished this year. And, I can't even say I got close. Unless you consider buying the book to be an acheivment, because that's pretty much as far as I got.
And I admit, I gave myself plenty of time. I bought the book mid November, which should have been quite enough. And I carried that thing in my purse for WEEKS!(no small feat, that book is 1200 pages!)
Alas, every time I set my gaze on it, my heart was hardened, and I went off to do something else instead.
So, that goal has been carried over into this year.

#2. As I mentioned in my previous post, I met a wonderful boy, who was able to help me complete my second resolution.

#3. This one started off great, kinda petered off in March, but I adapted it to work.
Last year( as in 2012) I had gotten to a state where I was constantly drinking coca cola. Realizing how bad this was for my body, I used it in my first goal of #3 to not drink it for a month. Well, I'm happy to say that a month turned into two, then three, and now I can say I haven't had any to drink since last January.
I have not sworn off of it for the rest of my life, but I definitely will be limiting myself, now that the year commitment is over.

And last but not least, #4.
I really feel as if there is a lot to remember 2013 by.
The two biggest that stick out in my mind would be traveling to Australia, especially since it was a solo voyage. And finally starting my post secondary education.
They both will have a lasting impact on my life.

Now on to 2014.

Four was a nice manageable number for last year, so we'll do that again.

1. Travel to my bucket list destination: ENGLAND! the reality of me being able to spend 6 months there is kind of gone, but at least two weeks would be nice.

2. Finish Les Mis (for real this time!!)

3. Along those lines, finish the pile of books/dvds that has accumulated on my desk, quite possibly some of those will be worthy of blog posts.

4. And finally, for that one that everybody always makes, that can't really be proven or finished for sure, but it is a good life goal.
This year will be a year of promptness.. Mostly in the way of correspondence. If somebody messages, emails, text me, I want to reply as quickly as possible, and not have ridiculous reasons for why I let something sit in my inbox for two months when all it needed was a simple reply. )
Also, one that we have semi made as a couple: become Pinterest junkies. But that is certainly for another post.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

Boyfriends are fun.

The Christmas card 'bloopers'.

I thought it might be time to announce my relationship status to my blogging world.

Hey, Everybody. Meet Matt.

Matt is a funny little story that I cannot tell you now, since I am saving that epic tale for our wedding( but don't get any ideas, we are NOT engaged at the moment.)...but it's safe to say the words DATING SITE came into play.

After several years of being single, and going for dinner and movies alone, it's been an adjustment to always have company. But it's a nice adjustment.

He is a smart, handsome man who is a perfect mixture of sarcastic and sweet. And he seems to like me, even though I am a very spoiled girl. So, match made in heaven? You'll just have to hang out with the two of us and find out for yourself.

The last thing I have to say is this. When you find a man who will put up with your least attractive quality, you should hold onto him forever and ever.
There are three that are tied for first in my world. Least Attractive Qualities, I mean, not men. HAHA
1. Listening to terrible music.
2. Taking wayyyy too many selfies.
3. Being incredible needy.
And lucky enough for me, my man puts up with it all.

And there you have it. The reason my blogging has been cut by 50%.
No time to blog when I'm out adventuring with my partner in crime.

Mother Appreciation Day.

Honest to goodness I starting planning a blog post in my head on the way home from work.

Mostly a rant about the troubles of working with a bunch of women.(remind me again why I quit my construction job?)
Drama, and gossip, and silent treatments and tears. Its almost too much to bear.

So that was what I was going to write about. 
And as I walked up to my door, with the five minutes I had to change, and walk back out to go to my next event, I saw the package.

As I have mentioned before, a package is a wonderful thing. But an unexpected package? That is ten times better.
Wonderful presents from the mother.
What a way to make my day so much better.
Thanks, mom!

Boot toppers!

Not actually the whole tree. But the nice little Linus blanket that is wrapped around the base.
Even has 'Linus' stitched into the corner.

The how-to guide to...

Donating blood for the first time and having it go wrong.

DO try and relax and remain calm.
DO appreciate all of the people that are trying to make you feel better.
DON'T let this be the deciding factor in never trying to donate blood again.
DO cancel any plans that you had for that evening.
DO stop and get your favourite comfort food on the way home.
DO change into your pyjamas as soon as possible. And not the every day zebra print one's. This definitely calls for the special, fuzzy zebra print one's.
DON'T freak out and panic when you rummage through your purse for 5 minutes and can't find the bandaid
that they gave you. Chances are, you will see it as soon as you actually stand up and survey the area.
DO silently swear under your breath because your arm still hurts so much an hour and a half after the appointment.
DON'T worry about plates, or cutlery, or normal manners. You grab that take-out box and head straight for bed.
DO take a moment to cry it all out when you have finally settled in bed. Crying is a great release of all your emotions.
And last but not least, DO spend the rest of your evening having a relaxing time of reading, and watching light comedies in bed. Oh, and blogging about your experience of course.


Now, folks. Before you become too alarmed, maybe I should explain the situation better.

"Having it go wrong" MAY not be the best term for it. But, since it didn't go "right", I had no other choice.

Today I went to donate blood for the first time.
Why did I do it?
I. have. no. clue.

Not only does the sight of blood make me VERY queasy, but I am deathly afraid of needles.
BUT it's the right thing to do. And I had this strange conviction to do it.

I went through all the steps and process, and everything was going great.
And then they put me in the chair, and I started getting nervous, but thats perfectly normal.

I won't go into the gory details, since thats not when it happened.

But after sitting there for a couple minutes, maybe 5-7, I started getting lightheaded, and not feeling so good. But I didn't want to quit! Or seem like a baby. So I didn't say anything. I just turned my head to the side, and maybe closed my eyes? I don't really remember any details. The next thing I know, there are people all around me, stopping the machine, putting cold cloths on my arms, and neck, and head, and chest. And I felt sick, and chills, and fever, and dizzy and all those other random fun symptoms.

So because of that I got the special treatment, and my two(!) juiceboxes and my cookies were delivered to me in my chair.

The good news is they still use the blood, even if it's not a full portion. So it wasn't all in vain.

All in all, it was a bit of a terrifying experience, but I will go back again.
Turns out I probably just hadn't had enough to eat in the last two hours.

Don't let this story convince you not to go. Let this story make you feel better when your trip to the donor clinic is so much easier.

Welcome "Home".

Hey everybody.
It's time to give you a little life update.

So many things have happened in the last week and a half, it's hard to believe.

Thursday, September 5th, I went out with coworkers in a last hurrah type dinner.
Friday, September 6th, I worked my last day at the construction site, and went to a blazers game with one of my closest friends.
And then Saturday, September 7th, I packed all my stuff into my car and drove two hours to Kelowna, to start my new life.

Although when I say that I packed everything into my car on Saturday, that isn't really true. If you remember, I had been living with my brothers in a different house this summer, and I moved out of there on Thursday. So rather than do all the work of taking it out once I "moved home" for two days, I just lived with a car packed to overflowing for the remainder of my time in Kamloops. It was a fun two days. Think of how annoying living out of a suitcase is, and triple that feeling.

So, I arrived at my little basement suite, and started unpacking. That got boring after just a couple hours.
Now you would think(and I would think) that I wouldn't even have had that much stuff to be unpacked. And that guess it fairly true. But I'm not a focused unpacker. And what could have taken somebody experience only a couple hours, took me half a week.

I waited to take pictures until everything was unpacked, which is why this post is somewhat late. Takes me half a week to do the unpacking, then another week to get the energy to actually take the pictures, and blog about it.

The kitchen. Looking homey with things all over the fridge already.

The living room. A sweet looking fireplace. Not sure if it works or not though :).

A pretty normal looking bathroom. But tons of storage in the closet, which I found out was necessary.

A nice, big bedroom.

Bedroom view #2.

So as you can see, there is quite a lot of furniture and things already in the place. The only thing I had to bring was a bed, which made the whole thing a lot easier. No need to be living out of boxes still, or sitting on cushions on the floor.

All in all, the overall move and living has been quite successful.

School!
Yay for school.
I have been having the time of my life.
It's so fun.
Not so much yesterday, because I just come back from a visit home(to Kamloops), and I was feeling a little sad. But getting a quiz back with this...



Helped to make my mood a little better.

Anyway.
In some ways it is a lot easier than I had imagined, and in other ways it's harder. Example, there is about 162 terms to memorize, and then 179 more terms that are specific to Dentistry.
Flash cards here I come.

My teacher is really fun. And she makes everything easy, and goes to great lengths to prepare us for the quizzes. And brings us snacks, and fun little things.

The Job!
Leading up to the move, I told myself to not worry about looking for a job yet. I'd let myself have a week of relaxation and vacation, and then start the search.
Ha. Ha. Silly joke.
I forgot that without a job I become anxious, nervous, stressed, paranoid, etc.
Which is why on Saturday, the day I moved in, I was already dropping off resumes.
And what a pain that is.
Job searching, just not the funnest thing around.

My last job was such a breeze to get into, it really didn't prepare me for the years ahead of me.

But.

Then something happened. A silly little story happened.
I had seen online that Sears was having a job fair. Not my first my pick of a job. But when I got down to thinking about it, I really didn't have a first pick of job.
So I show up on that Saturday(exactly one week after I moved. To the hour, if you want to get specific.),
and ask about the job fair.
It had been canceled, they tell me, but go ahead and fill out an application form anyway.
Alright.
Oh, but then the manager comes back out and say that once I've filled it out, why don't I come back to her office, and we will do a mini interview right now.
The rest is history, folks.
She hired me right then and there, and I am now employed in the ladieswear department of Sears.

It felt SO GOOD to know that I had a job. And all my stress was just wiped away.

I start my first shift tomorrow(Friday). Without any training, it will be train as I go on the job, so we'll see how that works.

But there you go. That is my new life in a nutshell.
I hoping that I can keep up with the blog, to be able to give you some fun updates and stories about my time here in Kelowna.

go, Go, GO, STOP!

Otherwise titled as 'One of the most stressfilled, fun weeks of Hannah's year.'

A little bit of the update on my school experience.

*Disclaimer (the best blog posts all have them* I don't want you to view this as a general homeschooling flaw, I would like to think that I am a very special case.

Last week I had a lovely chat with one of the ladies at Ongoing Education at Okanagan College in Kelowna.
She explained pretty much everything for me, and got everything sorted.
Things that needed to be sorted were arranging tests in order to get all my prerequisites ready for my application.

So, to go along with my disclaimer, I'm not used to tests. I am not one of those homeschoolers that had tests all along the journey of my schooling, and I did not have to do any provincial exams. Couple that with my off and on OCD, and perfectionism, and you have a Hannah who is a bundle of stressful nerves.

One thing about not having tests growing up, I don't really have a proper way of dealing and preparing for them yet. Which basically means, although I got my prereading book for the CPR course mid last week, I didn't actually start reading it until Monday, and cramming on Wednesday. (The course being the next day, Thursday.)

My compulsive list-making skills did come in handy this week though.

I will admit my stress got so bad on Wednesday afternoon, that at a point I was pretty sure I would have a panic attack. There was nausea, stomach pain, headaches, sweating, and being on the verge of tears.
I would like to say a special thanks to my lovely sweeper team for dealing with me. Looking back now, I know I was just being plain silly.

On top of all of that, the course and test were not even in Kamloops, so I made the two hour drive to Kelowna. I guess it's a little fitting, since that is where I will be going to school.
Thursday I had the CPR course, and it was actually so easy. All the stress and nerves of before, went away when I learned everything, and had the confidence I needed to pass the written exam (passed with 100%, I might add).

The next day, I went to the college and did a typing test, the goal was to be able to type 35 words per minute. It was almost as easy as the test the day before had been.
And with that, I had confirmation that I could be expecting an acceptance letter in the next week.

WHHHHEEEWWW.
I do admit I make things out to be so much of a bigger deal than they need to be, but it's almost as if the added stress makes for a bigger celebration in the end. So, almost worth it :D.

Then after the days of stress, I headed into two days at the lake, doing nothing but napping, reading, and soaking up the sun.
I did not feel guilty for the lack of production at all. Lack of production? What am I talking about. I managed to finish two books in that time. So productive.

One more thing I would like to mention on the school subject.

Hannah is not a fan of change. She gets comfortable with the day to day normal, and the idea of totally disrupting that freaks her out. Especially when it becomes so real.
As much as she loved the idea of applying for college and moving to a new city before, now it is just a new cause for worry and stress.

The idea of quitting my job, that I have grown to love and get so much joy out of, is a big reason that I thinking that I don't even want to make this big step. And every day it is a struggle that I'm dealing with.
BUT!
I found a quote on Pinterest last week, that I have been thinking about constantly, and it is helping me deal with everything.

"What if I told you that 10 years from now, your life would be exactly the same?
I doubt you would be happy.
So, why are you so afraid of change?"
Karen Salmansohn

I don't want to be where I am in 10 years. Heck, I don't want to be where I am in 2 or 3 years. And without making the difficult steps now, I won't be able to make that happen.
So, here is to beginning a new phase of my life, as hard as it might seem in the moment.

NEW BEGINNINGS!

This is cheating.

I had to do a brief update for all of my friends from Bible school, and so I'm doing the cheaters thing, and copying and pasting it here.

And to think I used to laugh at all the people who said they got "bloggers block".
It's a real thing, and you should be frightened of getting it yourself.
I cannot even count the amount of times I have forced myself to press the 'new post' button, and then stared at the screen forever, trying to formulate a way of writing down my thoughts in a unique and witty way, that would make everyone want to smile and be my friend.

And in actuality, when I have managed to scrape something together enough to hit 'publish', it is always some odds-n-ends thing that I put together on the spot, so that I could try and convince myself that I still have it together. I don't. But I'm also not going to throw away 6 years of my life, just because of a dry spell. I have faith that the writers itch will come back. Maybe not in time to keep all of my readers here, but since when has this been more than a public journal for me anyway?

Here is my short update. Obviously there isn't much to it, and there are probably still a lot of holes in between that would be nicer if filled. But if I have learned anything from my Europe and Australia adventures, it is when I promise a report on something, that it never happens.
So. That's that.

"As all of you know, I went to AUSTRALIA! in March. And that was so much fun. It was my first solo trip, so that in itself was an experience. Elyse's wedding was obviously the highlight. And it was lovely to see her, if only for a short, busy day. 
For the rest of the trip, it was just me, checking out the cities of Melbourne and Sydney. Not only did I see all the animals native to Australia, but I went to the Melbourne Aquarium one day and saw penguins. And that made my life. You don't even want to know how long I stood there and watched them. Taking wayy too many pictures, I might add.
During that trip I realized that the whole solo thing was probably not the best idea for me. I don't regret it, but I tend to be a introvert, so didn't really go out of my way to strike up conversations and all that. I'm also a little paranoid, so most nights found me in my hostel room by 9pm, because I was afraid of what dangers the night might hold :).

After that trip, I was already planning my next one. Which, until recently, was set to happen in January, and the plan was to be a nanny in England for a year or so.
That plan, which up until two days ago was pretty much confirmed, now is looking like it might be postponed, because I just applied to college tonight. Weird. This coming from a girl who has never ever ever wanted to back to school. Ever. (T-swift reference, anybody?)

Nothing to exciting. It's called a Dental Office Administrative Assistant Certificate. It's a pretty short course. Which is good, since that's all I can stand. But I'm really happy for the opportunity to get some sort of training under my belt.
So prayer for getting accepted to that would be much appreciated.

In other news of my life, since Vanessa noticed it on my instagram, I moved out!
Only temporarily though.
My brothers roommate went to work at a bible camp for the summer, so they needed someone to fill in for two months. I wanted the chance to see what it was like before plunging straight in, so this is a nice little test of what it's going to be like in the future.
It's only been a week and a half, but so far so good. I have a little work to do in the cooking department, but that will take some time.
I'm already noticing the perks to living at home, so I don't think I'm done with that quite yet."

8 things I love.

Seeing as I can never remember to blog on Thursdays, here is one just for fun.

1. Rain.
2. Peanut butter cookies from Walmart.
3. The giggly anticipation I get right before bed sometimes, because I am so excited to sleep.
4. Taking a really good photograph.
5. Being so happy I can't keep the smile off my face.
6. Costco shopping with my mother.
7. Making lists, and checking them off.
8. Relying on my senses.

HMD!

Mother's Day 2013

                       A return from bloggers block to send a Mothers Day greeting your way!

Stuck.

Stuck in a small circle of procrastination right now.
I should be packing.
I should be doing my taxes.
I should be filing for my medical claim.
I should be blogging about actual topics.
I should be preparing for work tomorrow.

I'm watching a movie and painting my nails.

86 hours until departure.
31.5 of those hours will be spent working.
Ideally 32 of those hours will be spent sleeping.
And Monday and Tuesday nights are spent with people, having last minute hang out sessions.

So, yes, I should be freaking out.
In fact, I am.

But I'm just not doing anything about it.

And I wonder why I am so stressed all the time...

An update on the March challenge.

4

5

6 (not my opinion, just documenting)

7

8

It is a little bit laughable that the one free day I had, I didn't end up getting around to taking a picture.
So none for 9.

10

A time for grieving, and a time for moving on.

I felt bad for Flamingo Frances( as her nametag stated), I really did. Here she was, just trying to get through her Monday evening shift at Petland, enjoying the quiet calm of the store without customers, when I appeared.

{Some back story}
As some of you might know, my fish died a little while ago. We had been together for over 2 1/2 years, and I was quite attached. I'm realizing that he was there throughout some of the most difficult times in my life so far, so maybe that why I had such a special bond with a pet that you usually don't connect with.

Just about a week before Reggie died, I had bought a large 5 gallon tank in an attempt to cheer him up. As it would appear, it didn't work. And I was left with this new tank, sitting empty on the counter. It stayed that way up until now, because I didn't have the heart to buy a new fish at the time.
Last Monday was forced into being the time, maybe only because my mom was threatening to go buy fish if I didn't. And I didn't want to be stuck looking at fish that I didn't pick out. So, I went to Petland.

And I gazed at all the different fish for a very long while. And then I asked F.F. some questions. And that's when my sob story started pouring out.
Honestly, I don't even know how I could make such a big deal about a fish. But it seemed that every other sentence, I was mentioning Reg, and something about him, or how I felt now that was gone. I am ashamed of myself. Thankfully, she was a fellow fish lover, and she seemed to understand, or at least she is very good at acting. In the end I was triumphant in finding 4 fish that I could live with, but I still drove home feeling as if I wasn't ready for this step.

Despite my lack of love, they seem to be surviving, and hopefully in time I can grow fond of them.

Introducing for the first time..........

Hal and the Karens!

*note* There are three Karens. It's just hard to see one of them because she is so small, and facing the camera.
Also, Hal is frisky, and seems to sense when I am taking pictures of him. So there hasn't been a clear photo of him yet.

Month #3

Let's just put the facts out there. Going to the gym isn't very fun. 

I tried to trick myself for a while, but I soon saw through the lies.

Month 2 didn't work out so great. But I did learn how to work some new machines, and I feel comfortable going to classes, and working on free weights, so I won't say it was a total fail.

This month is going to be something totally different.
Since I am leaving the country on the 21st, I wanted to make it something that won't be a hassle while I am traveling around, and not so much about diet or exercise, since I really, really don't want to have to worry about those things while I am on vacation.

Instead, I went in a different direction completely.
A picture a day.

As the aspiring photographer I pretend to be, I want to challenge myself to find something worth taking a picture of every day.
Now most days, I'm sure I will cheap out, and not put any heart into it. But I really hope I will be able to learn a bit more about my camera through this, and get a little more sense of what is photogenic and what is just a bad picture.

So here is March 1, 2 & 3.

I didn't actually make the new goal until Saturday. But fortunately I had taken a couple pictures on Friday anyway.

It was raining really hard on Saturday night, but I couldn't capture the magic correctly,
so I settled for a different kind of magic.

Can't get enough of the new ink.

The permanent decision.

Anybody who knows me well, knows that I'm an over thinker.

Almost every decision I make is a large process, taking at least a couple days to consider, usually with me making my mind, and then changing it 20 times before actually making the final decision. Or not making the decision ever. Example being my lack of career plans :).

Take my last big purchase.

The iPhone.

  I can't even tell you how many times I went back and forth on this one.
My blackberry started acting up months ago, and it was extremely frustrating. It would freeze up at least a couple times a day, randomly turn off (usually while I was on the phone), and sometimes not send or receive texts. But even though I knew what phone I wanted to get next, since it was so much money, I couldn't make myself take that large step. So, I would just smash my head into walls whenever my phone acted up instead.

Then I created a plan in which I would set aside a small amount of money from every paycheck, towards the new phone, so when I finally I had enough, I would feel as if I had earned it.
And this took a very long time.
The day finally came when I had enough, and I still couldn't do it.
It took me almost another month to work up the courage to spend the fortune that is required for the new iPhone.

So.
I come to my next large decision.

But this one came with another added pressure.

Permanence.

It's a whole 'nother stressfilled time when you are considering something that you will never be able to take back.

Like a tattoo.
So, like my phone, this choice was a long time coming. Which years of thinking it over. And I'm not really exaggerating when I say years.
After ages of thinking this through, in the fall I told myself it was time, and that I would do this for my birthday. Haha. That was wishful thinking.
4 months later, I was exasperated with my indecisiveness, and almost on a whim, I went into the tattoo parlour to see when I could book an appointment. There had been a cancellation, and I could come in the next morning. ACK! Instant panic attack. I thought I would have to wait weeks, and it would give me time to get used to this new development  But no, I was plunging head over heels into it. If you can say that after years of processing.
But maybe it was better this way. Like ripping off the bandaid.
And it turned out okay.
No time to stress, no time to change my mind. Just enough time to spend a couple hours pouring through websites looking for the perfect font.
Going into this, I wasn't sure what my pain tolerance would be.
I know generally, I'm not that great.
And it hurt.
I picked a very sensitive part of the body, and most of it was right on top of bone, which makes it hurt that much more. I was very unprepared, but I didn't make a fool of myself by crying. Very proud to say that not a tear was shed. I had to keep up a nonchalant "this is totally fine" attitude to prove to the tattoo artist that I was cool enough for this :).

Here it is.

To explain this tattoo, would be like giving up a part of my soul that I'm not so sure I'm willing to share quite yet. It obviously has meaning. But I'm sure I would do a very bad job of explaining that meaning.
Instead, I will leave you with the song that it came from, and maybe you can come up with an idea of what it means to me.

Exciting things coming my way...

I'm trying to be as mysterious as possible.


Dare I say it?

Stay tuned for an (exciting) update.