go, Go, GO, STOP!

Otherwise titled as 'One of the most stressfilled, fun weeks of Hannah's year.'

A little bit of the update on my school experience.

*Disclaimer (the best blog posts all have them* I don't want you to view this as a general homeschooling flaw, I would like to think that I am a very special case.

Last week I had a lovely chat with one of the ladies at Ongoing Education at Okanagan College in Kelowna.
She explained pretty much everything for me, and got everything sorted.
Things that needed to be sorted were arranging tests in order to get all my prerequisites ready for my application.

So, to go along with my disclaimer, I'm not used to tests. I am not one of those homeschoolers that had tests all along the journey of my schooling, and I did not have to do any provincial exams. Couple that with my off and on OCD, and perfectionism, and you have a Hannah who is a bundle of stressful nerves.

One thing about not having tests growing up, I don't really have a proper way of dealing and preparing for them yet. Which basically means, although I got my prereading book for the CPR course mid last week, I didn't actually start reading it until Monday, and cramming on Wednesday. (The course being the next day, Thursday.)

My compulsive list-making skills did come in handy this week though.

I will admit my stress got so bad on Wednesday afternoon, that at a point I was pretty sure I would have a panic attack. There was nausea, stomach pain, headaches, sweating, and being on the verge of tears.
I would like to say a special thanks to my lovely sweeper team for dealing with me. Looking back now, I know I was just being plain silly.

On top of all of that, the course and test were not even in Kamloops, so I made the two hour drive to Kelowna. I guess it's a little fitting, since that is where I will be going to school.
Thursday I had the CPR course, and it was actually so easy. All the stress and nerves of before, went away when I learned everything, and had the confidence I needed to pass the written exam (passed with 100%, I might add).

The next day, I went to the college and did a typing test, the goal was to be able to type 35 words per minute. It was almost as easy as the test the day before had been.
And with that, I had confirmation that I could be expecting an acceptance letter in the next week.

WHHHHEEEWWW.
I do admit I make things out to be so much of a bigger deal than they need to be, but it's almost as if the added stress makes for a bigger celebration in the end. So, almost worth it :D.

Then after the days of stress, I headed into two days at the lake, doing nothing but napping, reading, and soaking up the sun.
I did not feel guilty for the lack of production at all. Lack of production? What am I talking about. I managed to finish two books in that time. So productive.

One more thing I would like to mention on the school subject.

Hannah is not a fan of change. She gets comfortable with the day to day normal, and the idea of totally disrupting that freaks her out. Especially when it becomes so real.
As much as she loved the idea of applying for college and moving to a new city before, now it is just a new cause for worry and stress.

The idea of quitting my job, that I have grown to love and get so much joy out of, is a big reason that I thinking that I don't even want to make this big step. And every day it is a struggle that I'm dealing with.
BUT!
I found a quote on Pinterest last week, that I have been thinking about constantly, and it is helping me deal with everything.

"What if I told you that 10 years from now, your life would be exactly the same?
I doubt you would be happy.
So, why are you so afraid of change?"
Karen Salmansohn

I don't want to be where I am in 10 years. Heck, I don't want to be where I am in 2 or 3 years. And without making the difficult steps now, I won't be able to make that happen.
So, here is to beginning a new phase of my life, as hard as it might seem in the moment.

NEW BEGINNINGS!